Cabin Fever

Alright, can we talk about the movie Cabin Fever for just a minute here?

Cabin Fever is a horror film that came out in 2002; one I haven't seen yet despite wanting to. Badly, I'm realizing.

Visually, Cabin Fever looks amazing. The case, that is. The picture on the cover, set against a blood-red background, is of a derelict cabin with two gnarly trees growing on either side, their branches interweaving overhead to form the shape of a skull. How awesome does that sound?

When I think about it, it's rather unbelievable how many times I've been at the video store, holding a copy of Cabin Fever in my hands before heading back home to watch anything but Cabin Fever.

The problem is that for me, movie renting is almost only ever done in the company of others. I've been in three long-term relationships in my life and seriously, each one has involved an instance in which we're at the video store, I suggest renting Cabin Fever, and we end up with something totally different. A pack of Smarties, perhaps. And it's not because I'm some sort of let-my-girlfriend-walk-all-over-me type. No, each time an all too sensible argument is made as to how renting Cabin Fever would make for a disasterous evening:

"Okay, we COULD get Cabin Fever, but you know that friend of mine? That one who's opinion you actually kind of respect? Well she saw and said it was just awful."

Or

"Okay, we COULD get Cabin Fever, but look what I just found: Memoirs of a Geisha! Now come on, we've both been meaning to see this."

Or

"Okay, we COULD get Cabin Fever...but frankly I'd rather be trapped in this video store, contract actual cabin fever and eventually kill myself."

Or let's say I'm with a group of my evangelical Christian friends. They never let me get Cabin Fever either. "Haha, you're kidding, right Joey?" The funny thing is that we'll end up renting something like Kill Bill instead. Now there's a fine line if ever there was one. They weren't using no Jumbo Jiffy when they drew that thing.

But now here's where this whole thing gets really crazy. See, I'll be going about my normal everyday business, nowhere near a video store, Cabin Fever the furthest thing from my mind, and I'll run into people--complete strangers sometimes--who cannot shut up about how much they love Cabin Fever. "You haven't seen it!?" they ask incredulously. "If you're into campy, cheesy horror movies, you'll love it!" No joke, people simply rave about Cabin Fever everywhere I go. I can hardly take two steps without bumping into someone who's practically wearing a Cabin Fever T-shirt and just waiting to get into how fantastic it is with whoever will listen.

Wow, I really can't believe I haven't seen Cabin Fever yet. What's it going to take?

And also

"Eh! What's it gonna take...for a good kid like Greg MacPherson...to catch a break?"

- Walter Prychodko